When we arrived at MEPS it was early. It was about 5:30 am. As soon as we pulled in the parking lot, one of the employees came on the bus to give us instructions and assert her authority. She was sloppy, overweight, and barely respectable. One of the things she said that was a real put off was, "nobody gives a shit what color your underwear are." Well, genius, I could have told you that. Was it necessary to swear and be so impolite, though? Probably. You're dealing with 17 and 18 year old kids. We don't listen or follow directions! It's been over ten years since I graduated high school. I'm not used to being treated like this!
The first thing we had to do was take our belts off or anything else that can cause the metal detector to sound off. At the door, our backpacks went through a scanner and we walked through a detector. Then, we put out backpacks into a room with shelves. I've read other posts that mention the backpacks go into a locker and you need a quarter to use it. Nothing is locked here in Harrisburg. I had a laptop with me which made me a bit nervous since my peers knew I had it from the day before when I was using it in the hotel lobby.
Next we were taken into a room and we were briefed about what the day was going to be like. We were told the staff is to be addressed by saying "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am", etc. We were also told the drug screening policy. I was told this policy I believe 6 times throughout the day. Basically, the urine tests are much stronger than the ones your recruiter administered or the ones available at the drug store. They warned us that even being in contact with drugs was enough to test positive, as these tests are very sensitive. I feel that these tests are not that strong and the technicians were trying to scare us, but I don't know that for sure. The policy is that a failed drug test prohibits a person from joining the military for the rest of their lives. If you feel that you could piss hot that day, the policy is that you can say you're sick, and come back in a few weeks to do your processing. I was not worried because I do not do drugs, but I started to second guess myself since this policy was reiterated so many times throughout the day.
You have a name tag that you wear all day. You cannot take it off and you must give it back to the staff at the end of the day. If has your name, military branch, bar code, and part of your social security number. Throughout the day at the medical stations, they will scan this name tag. It is to be worn on the left. You will also carry your file with you all day. The different medical stations will record information in this file. They are all different colors. This must be so they are not confused with others' files.
The first station will be the biometric signature station. Here, one of the employees will take your pointer finger print. You will use this print for the rest of the day. For the workers to pull up your file at the various stations, you must first press on a pad with your finger. Pretty cool. Oh, they also get your picture here, too. It's not for your permanent ID or anything. It's for security and proves that you're you. This will happen a few more times. Each time, they will ask that you take your glasses off. At every station, you wait in line single file. You don't talk, slouch, or look around. Just face forward and wait.
Your day might not go the same way mine did, but I think all of your stations will be the same. Next, we stood in another single file line to simply hand our file to an ignorant girl sitting at the medical processing desk. Everyone is ignorant at this place. Get used to it. Then, we went into the same briefing room we in about an hour ago for our medical briefing. Again, we were told the drug testing policy and were able to get up leave because we were "sick" if we felt we could not pass the test. Then, we did medical history paperwork which is the same that I filled out with my recruiter. We had to list surgeries, allergies, etc. Your recruiter should have already briefed you on what to disclose here. It should match the paperwork that was already turned in as well. We also had to fill out a scan-tron sheet about our mental health. Everyone gets depressed sometimes, but just say no. It can raise red flags if you admit that you sometimes feel blue. However, they will tell you that if you think you can't make it through basic training, leave now rather than waste taxpayer money. In the same room, we got a breathalyzer test. Each person will get a sanitary plastic tube and you will blow steadily for about 10 seconds. Easy peezy.
Next we completed our medical screenings. This is where the sit and wait part begins. First, we completed vision screenings. If you've ever been to an eye doctor, these screenings will be the same. You will read the top row if you can. If you can't, move down the next row. You will also get screened for color blindness. The technician wrote some things in my file and had me go back to the waiting room and I sat and waited....and waited.... Hearing was next. This hearing test is the same one you got in elementary school. Simply click the button when you hear something. TIP: CLEAN YOUR EARS. If you have dirty ears upon arrival the staff will clean them for you.
I had blood work next. I was briefed on their drug policy at that time and was again asked if I wanted to leave for the day because I was sick. The technician explained that this blood test was only to test for HIV, which is a disqualifying infection. She stated that my blood will go to a lab and it takes about 2 business days to get results. Recruits are only called if they are positive. Same with the drug screening.
I took my ASVAB next. You are given three hours to complete this test, but don't think I even took an hour to complete it. All of the others got done about the same time. This test is computerized and has math, reading comprehension, and mechanical sections. Each section has a score, but you also get a total score. From what I've read, the average for the Army is 50. That's also the magic number to qualify for some bonuses, too. I scored over 50 so I was ecstatic.
We were not allowed to pee all morning. This was rough considering most of us had coffee and tea for breakfast. Since I had to pee so badly, I think I flew through my ASVAB faster than I should have, since I knew drug testing was next! For the drug test, a technician will watch you "go". Even though I had to go so badly, I had a hard time since she was watching me. They will give you specific directions on what to do. Do not wash your hands, do not flush the toilet, etc. You must fill the cup at least halfway. If you do not, the test is not valid. This could also be why you're not allowed to pee before this. Let me correct myself. You are allowed to pee before the drug test, but it's frowned upon.
The worst part of the day was next, our physicals. First, I was weighed and got my blood pressure taken. The tech told me where I stood and how much weight I can lose and gain and still meet the requirements. If you are on the border, I think they do a BMI. Then I sat at waited. The tech was kind enough to put Blades of Glory on the flatscreen to keep me entertained. I watched all of it. (This is how long you sit and wait between tests). Next, we had to strip down completely. This means no socks or jewelry. We were given paper robes to wear. The doctor was an OB/GYN of Indian decent. He was certain to let me know that he thought women were, let's say, lower than men. After talking to the other girls, he did the same thing to them as well. He asked a lot of questions about your medical history AND criminal history. This is where I had to give a statement about my traffic tickets. Next, the tech came in (female) as he did my girl parts exam. He had me take deep breaths as he listed to my chest. Then he looked over my naked body for any scars. For the female exam, you do not get a PAP smear. You will not put your feet in stirrups, either. Instead, you will put your heels together and spread your knees as wide as you can. You are not covered with a sheet during this so it's really awkward. The tech stares at your girl parts as the woman-hater doctor (who can't speak English) is gawking at you. Then, you have to roll on your side and spread your cheeks so the doctor can make sure you do not have hemorrhoids.
The next section of the physical test is done in your bra and underwear. For guys, you're in tighty whiteys. For girls, you should wear modest undergarments. They do not tolerate G strings, pucker butts, etc. We started with simple exercises like windmills, toe touching, and squats. Then we moved on to knee walking and duck walks. One girl got disqualified on the next part. To make sure we have good balance, the doctor has us stand on one leg and kick with the other. One girl couldn't do this. I am not sure if she will have the opportunity to come back to MEPS and try again. I did overhear another tech say she was disqualified, though. After this, we got our clothes back on and sat and waited. My name was called up to the tech's station. She handed me my packet and said, "Congratulations, you're qualified. Please report to your branch's office."
Happy day! I reported to the Army's office in the MEPS building where they did their part of my processing. First, I had to sit with the security person. We went over the information that I put on my paperwork to make sure it was all correct. He verified all my addresses and employers for the past 10 years and asked a few more questions. Next, I sat down with another person. This was the fun part. I picked out my job, ship date, went over my bonuses, and signed a lot of papers. You sign papers giving the Army consent to do a background check, credit check, medical records check, and that you were not promised anything such as bonuses that are not on your contract. I did this on December 23 and my ship date is January 20. It could have been sooner, but chose to wait a month to ship. I had a lot of options as far as jobs and ship dates. Some people at MEPS will ship that day.
The final parts of processing still took about 2 more hours to complete. I had to get finger prints. The machine didn't work. As I mentioned before, the staff is rude which meant it was my fault that the machine is a piece of crap. Another person went over emergency contacts and who they will contact for funeral arrangements in the event I die while in uniform.
FINALLY! It's time to swear in. We were taken into another briefing room and were told what the signing in meant. The lady spoke like an auctioneer. I have no clue what she said. I didn't ask, either. When we went into the swearing-in room, we were briefed on how stand at ease and attention, which is part of the ceremony. The ceremony took less than a minute. We had to go back into the briefing room where we had to do biometric fingerprints again. AND....FINALLY!! I was sent home around 5:00 pm.
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